*sorry for the long post*
I found out I had depression when I was sitting on my bathroom floor crying my eyes out wondering what my families life’s would be like if I wasn’t alive. At the time I was doing 70+ hour weeks probably be home twice a week. I hardly seen my partner or had time to even switch off and relax. I can’t pinpoint why my depression happens feels like it came out of nowhere. I had a chat with my partner which was hard as I’m not one for talking. She helped alot as I was going down a dark road especially when I had feelings of wanting to I can’t even say the word it’s that horrible to even think of it now. So I went the normal route going to the doctor’s I did get offered to speak to psychologist and support groups but as I’m not much of a talker I didn’t want to waste anyones time as I wouldn’t have showed up. Anyway I did get put on medication which after a week or 2 seemed to really help except the odd mood swing. This carried on for 6 months then I thought I don’t need a tablet to make me feel better. So i went cold turkey and came of the medication which to the advice of my doctor and partner wasn’t the best thing todo. But after a week I felt better and felt great not waking up every morning to take a tablet. 5 years later I’m back on them. As I seemed to be going down the same dark road I was going down when I first became depressed. So I informed my partner who had noticed my mood change. Becoming distant mood swings not wanting to interact with anyone even my daughter. So again I went back to the doctor’s got offered to talk to someone but declined again and was given medication again. After another couple of weeks feeling weird I felt the medication starting to work and I’m still on it as i feel like I need it. I also had an anxiety attack this time around which never happend before. I can’t explain it but it was very frightening. If anyone is going through something like this then please open up to someone anybody even if it’s on here. Advice can really help alot so ask away if needed. Sorry for the long post I’m not going to proof read it as I didn’t like writing it never mind reading it again apologies for any mistakes.
This is a repost.